Cloning…The Um…Next Frontier?

By:  Bob-0

     Possibly the most debated topic, ever.  I think we should clone people, but only the atheists they won’t think that we’re “playing God.”  Then once the atheist realizes that their clone is a catholic, he’ll be horrified and have a fight to the death with his clone.  I smell a new Fox series, but we need to put the clones in sexy, futuristic bikinis (regardless of gender); then it will be ready for Fox.  At any rate, people that think of human cloning are absolutely retarded, there are so many things that they don’t realize about it.

     First things first, your clone will not be EXACTLY like you, he will have his own mind you could not control your clone.  He won’t look exactly like you unless he goes through every single thing that you did your entire life.  Clones age more quickly than we do, so your clone would be horribly feeble before you get “over the hill.” Chances are he’ll be even more retarded than you are for having yourself cloned.  Only the rich will be cloned, which doesn’t make much sense, I mean your clone isn’t going to be as successful as you are in business, Wall Street isn’t in your chromosomes I hate to say.

           Recently Ted Williams, greatest hitter of all time, was frozen so we could SELL his DNA and clone him.  That is the, quite possibly, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.  Only the people retarded enough to freeze someone will buy his DNA, and presumably have a Ted Williams clone that will bat over .400.  Baseball doesn’t carry from person to person; I guarantee that Mark McGuire’s kid is the smelly kid on the bench that never gets to play in his Little League games, not the 70 homerun hitter.  And you’d still have to raise and train this clone of Ted Williams, he won’t just pick up the damn bat and start hitting, but go ahead and waste your money, I don’t care.

     The only reason why scientists said they clone people is for medical reasons; you know transplants and so forth.  But regardless of whether it’s a clone, it’s still a human being, and usually we don’t just hack up people for parts.  Except for my twin brother that’s chained to the shed, but he was asking for it being all cannibalistic and stuff, that’s another story.  Well just have a whole bunch of perfect people walking around with a zombie like clone dragging behind them with no heart, liver, and one kidney.  Just because you have drinking and urinary problems doesn’t mean your clone should suffer.

     So think twice before paying 200,000$ to clone yourself, he might turn out just as much of a money wasting idiot as you are for making him.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go check up on my brother out back…The things he tries to get neighborhood kids to do... shudder.