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Idiots version 1.0


They are everywhere. I was at the local "Community Days" today and was astounded by the number of people allowed to live. I will now further elaborate.

There was a man playing a banjo and walking around...playing a banjo...and walking around, with a crazy banjo hat no less. Guess who was beside him? Of coarse a man with an accordian. What's the first thing that came into your mind when you heard that? "Kick him in the nuts!" perhaps? That's what me AND my friend both thought at the same time. I imaginethey have been to enough fairs and what not that they have a cup by now..and bullet proof vest; he is inviscible, there is nothing you can do to them that they havent seen before.

Moving onto another idiot, myself. I decided to park in a small space beside another car and for one reason or the other I decided to lock my doors upon exiting my car. What made this event stand out past any other event is that the keys were still in my car. Something else odd that happened was that is was still running, and atop that I had unknowingly parked in an ENTIRE parking lot; thus the fun ensued. This event would have been hilarious had it not been my new car in the middle of the predicament, actually there was my car and one other. A what appeared to be 89' Buick LeSabre.

Naturally everyone decided to blame the new red nice car, rather than the ugly buick. Even though that car was far more in the way mine for some reason recieved most, if not all of the abuse.

Upon realizing I immediately called my mom, in hopes that she may have another key, she did and said she would be there shortly. By shortly I guess she meant a half an hour, because that's how long it took the 5 minute ride there for her.

In the mean time I had already fended my car off from angry drivers attempting to break into, and curse my car. All of the odd looks were pointed squarely at me, yet no one felt the need to blame the piece of shit LeSabre.

After several minutes had past I had already been verbally assaulted several times, included a few mothers that decided to put in their 2 very uneeded cents on the matter, calling me such glorified names as, Shit head and the like. After so long and me pretending to own a different car my mom finally showed up giving me the keys to my vehicle allowing me to move it and pretent that nothing had ever happened. This was hard to do, because nearly 30 of my friends/peers had witnessed the entire event.

In conclusion to that part, I suggest that there is nothing finer for my money than locking my still running car in a non-parking spot that directly blocks many,many other cars from exiting.

Adding to this group of idiots is the significantly older gentlemen who still attempt a futile connection to highschool freshmen, such as college students and the like. Sure your in college now, and yes your old and have a stupid looking sweat shirt from the half rate college you attend, but girls didnt dig you because you were a greasy highschool nerd, now girls just dont dig you because your a greasy college nerd who hits on young girls. Things dont change that much, the best they can hope for is to scrounge a couple fat chicks because then they can tell all the cool people that they are seeing/slept with a college guy.

In some senses I feel bad, and life is hard all over just the colors are a bit dimmer on their side of the color spectrum, and are slowing fading to the undesireable browns to dark greys. With these folks in mind, I would like to remind you also that no matter how big your speakers are in your 89' chevy chelebrity now that you are older the girls that turned you down in high school are still going to, now it will just be their younger sisters with them.

My next complaint is idiots with enormous attack dogs. WHy would you ever want a dog the size of a pony or very small horse, this doesnt make sense to me. The main attribute to these dogs is the ability to kill, and that's great if your using it to lets say hold dog fights charging $8 dollars for admission in your basement (see contact info for more details). There are other purposes for them, but none that are more important than my own health and well being.

Another thing that bothers me is people that you dont know well enough to talk to in person anytime, that comes up and starts a conversation while you are with your friends. Sure I care about what stupid thing you just did/eat but not right now, actually I'll chage that, not ever. I hope you die, move 8 steps to your left and then forget to swallow and drown.