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Idiots new version 2.0


Feast your filthy eyes on my next section of idiots.

What? theres more you say? Of coarse your surrounded by idiots, look around. Right now my friend Dave is playing 90 Minute Football (DC), well not just playing but for the past several hours. He just made this remark to me as I was typing actually, "It's pretty sweet, I made the games longer." Now im not sure if I could sustain the amount of alcohol mixed with dead hooker that it would take for that to sound like a good idea to me. Im not going to single dave out as an idiot, because we all know he isnt, but this game is awful, and I'd say he has put over 10 hours into it over the times he's been over to my house. After my futile attempts to explain the terrible aspects of the game he holds strong to his favorite DC title, Im proud, wait no, discouraged by this action.

It bring me physical pain to merely watch the game, let alone play it for any amount of time, to each man his own I suppose, he also admits to watching World Cup Soccer on Espn2, If it was between that and punching myself in the face, i'll take the punch.

I did although attempt to play soccer, one game, and one practice, that's all before I decided, that I dont like it and never want to play it again. In this game of soccer I managed to knock over three people and take another out of the game, I felt my presence had been known in the world of soccer, and that was a good time for me to retire indefinately.

Another bunch of seathing idiots are the people that "street race" in town. Sure your 88' Corolla is sweet and yeah since the muffler fell off it's the loudest vehicle in town, but here is an amazing revolation to you; Girls just dont care that much, and neither does anyone else. Reinactment-

Idiot #1 - "What the rolla hit 50 in the izza, word"
Idiot #2 - "Tru Dat yo, it was up and about that biotch"
Idiot #1 - "Old school"

And that is as far as that conversation goes, sure there are more gang symbols thrown up than a scuffle at the source awards and some females are defiled during the entire event but that's the reason why they live, ever since "The Fast and the Furious" hit the box office. Hint- Your not Vin Diesel, and no you will never be as cool as him because everyone can see your rat tail flopping in the wind while you hit 43 mph on the Boulevard past Advance Auto Parts.

Another thing that makes me mad is the rapper folk with their hippen and their hoppin and their bippen and the boopin...eigh. Every new rap song is a sample of another song, even songs that werent even that good before- have been made to suck even more now. Their will be more on this later Im sure but I dont have the strength to combat this right now, my mana is low.

MOving along I wil now single out you, the male cheerleader. My good man, do you know what your doing to yourself? Not JUST yourself but your father more importantly, think about this, I'll now add another exquisite dialogue.

Father #1 - "My son is all state quartback third time in a row and he's out stomping queers tonight"
Father #2 - "My son had a meeting with the squad tonight, turns out his pompoms weren't frilly enough or something"
Father #1 - "Im sorry to here that"
Father #2 - "I think we hugged him too much"

Glitter was almost not gay on David Bowie, and he looks sorta like the devil himself, whenever its smeared on you like war paint you are open to any type of inhuman torment that can be thrown out at you. Some male cheerleaders are good people, but the choice to be a male cheerleader in itself just pisses me off. Sorry.

Another group that pisses me off is you, the person that sued anyone for anything less that them making you have sex with them for a job. Even in some cases not that how else could you interview a porn star, I mean really. I am now afraid to piss in the water fountain because someone of coarse will be offended in some way; And I say America, this isnt right.

We are too wrapped up with easy money and I am all for it as long as it doenst come to great expense to another person. Example, The pretzel place is closing, they are going to throw away the pretzels anyway, you ask and receive a complementary pretzel, that's ok. Another example would be you being offended by me putting a cat in the toaster oven, and taping the door shut; then suing me for mental distress. If it's your cat you should merely get a cat back, I dont know.

It's hard to even contemplate a humerous way to write this because its such an obvious problem and has been referred to all too oftenly, but I had to add it.

Chicken in a Biskit, a favorite snack up here in the office, yet an amazing triviality, does it need to suggest a chicken is trapped in a biskit for me to eat it? If it tasted anything like a chicken I would not have a problem, but it doesnt. It tastes like a cracker, a good cracker, but not a chicken cracker.

Is the American public to the point where we need a direct reference to something we know and love in order for us to accept something? Chicken in a biskit, that makes me sick, well not the crackers, I like those, the name, suggests I have no broader a mindset that if I cant find a chicken inside this box of "biskits"-crackers, then ill simply find them revolting and not quite chickeny enough for my taste.

Who's to say they arent turning away people that despise chicken, it doesnt take like a chicken, and doesnt look like a biscuit. It could be called salty flavored crackers, and I would buy them, and I love it because of it's shear honesty to the customer. Telling me there is a chicken inside a bisquit. Hardly my friends, hardly.

I now would like to point out myself due to the abundance of spelling and grammatical errors I have commited. thanks for reading.