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Yeah I wish there wouldn't be enough for me
to write up six whole editorials on things I hate, but no, this
world is nothing but a den of idiots and retards.
Oh I am sorry, I used the term "retard"
which isn't right as was pointed out today by my Theology teacher.
We were "circling," which is essentially her pushing her
theological views on you, which I think, is super (Psyche, 80's
style). I mentioned while she was talking about how terrible a person
President Bush (But in this case she used Governor Bush) was, for
executing so many people, and I decided to interrupt and add "Well
we can't fry retards in Texas anymore." God forbid I say the
word retard in front of that woman, she then attempted to look offended
(I'll assume she herself is a retard then) and then began to prattle
on about how in High school they would make fun of each other by
calling each other retards, and how it wasn't right. I decided to
add, "If they're retarded they wont know the difference."
This made things worse, I then was taught a valuable lesson: never
steal a clown's nose, but that's for another time.
Anyway this my friends, is pro-life week, uh
month too I guess, also Mary's month, but May is really Mary's month;
Seems a little too much like black history month huh? popping up
every other month. I know what you are all saying; "Ryan you
are so racist, sexist, close minded, and ignorant." At least
I don't have to agree with myself.
I don't want to get ahead of myself yet, I
still want to talk about pro-life week, and I can say I, myself,
am pro-life. I'll give you my logic on it. Instead of putting people
to death make them work hard labor until they die, and look, oh
no! We get things done, that's not the American way, no not at all.
(That wasn't sarcasm it really isn't the American way, we are a
nation of slackers and incompetent buffoons living off my money
via the US government.)
I'm now going to explain how I might not be
pro-life. I say we get rid of nearly all well fair except for the
elderly, people needing medicine, or people that need supplies for
young children, that's it. You then ask me, what happens to the
rest of the people, Ryan? Well I'm going to impose a new Political
tactic, which is called "Weeding out the population."
Since the people who are too stupid or worthless to get a job don't
deserve to eat, I say we don't postpone the inevitable, and let
them get a job, do something worthwhile or die. Simple as that,
have a problem, take it up with my secretary of labor and welfare
whenever I rule the world.
Next you might ask yourself, Ryan, why are
you so angry. Well for one, a tiny bug was just crawling on my hand,
and now it disappeared. Aside from that I'm talking to someone and
they just called a type of hot wing "The Shit." I Understand
that this is supposed to mean good, but shit is bad, and if wings
taste like shit, I don't want them, think of a new adjective such
as savory, or good. Another option could be, ta-da! Look at a dictionary
or thesaurus, idiot.
I'm going to go ahead and sum up school as
a total cesspool. By the time 5 period roles around I am already
completely infuriated by the stupidity of my "peers" dare
I call them that. I absolutely love whenever I'm trying to actually
do something in school, perhaps, I don't know, learn, or do something
productive (god forbid) and they decide to start up a completely
asinine conversation with me. I will now give an example.
"Hey Ryan...whatcha doing?"
"Writing."
"How come?"
"Probably because this is composition class and I know how
to read and write - double threat."
"Your mom is pretty hot"
"Oh man did you just come up with that one? You should write
that down I don't think that anyone has ever referenced another
persons mom in a joke before, how innovative."
"huh"
"Do you know what the sound of your own arm breaking is like?"
After that they usually take the hint and turn around or go back
to another equally pointless conversation, just as long as it isn't
around me.
Anyway I'm going to go ahead and go on a whim
as is my fashion as of late (Bob has reminded me I am running out
of whims, so I have to use them wisely) but on this whim I'm going
to go ahead and say whoever made the slogan "taste the possibilities...
join the club!" for club crackers is an idiot. I mean doesn't
the slogan "as refreshing as hit in the stomach by a policeman's
baton after an all night drug binge and looting spree" sound
about three hundred times better? Honestly. I should be marketing
this stuff.
Eh, I'm done, so for now that's another idiots, hope you had fun,
I know I did.
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