THE LAZY MAN'S CODE

Written By: Joel Fitzpatrick and Bob Wildauer
Hastily thrown together at the last minute by: Joel Fitzpatrick

1. SOCIAL CONFRONTATION

Social confrontation is merely a travesty. There is, nor was ever a need for people to speak. I myself can engage in hours of conversation just by using a series of hand gestures and facial expressions. To avoid such a disenchantment, try using side entrances and exits if a possible "Hello" may be in order. Let's face it. You're lazy. You have to conserve your energy. Also what pisses me off is people who say "Oh…too cool to talk to me, eh?" Not so much 'cool'. I'd say more lazy than anything.

2. LOOKING BUSY

Another skill that will help you along your path to becoming the laziest and most worthless person you can be is learning how to LOOK busy. If you look busy, people will notice this and think to themselves, "Ehhh…he looks busy… maybe I shouldn't bother him." Or, "I'll ask someone else to do this unnecessary task that I could very well do myself but just don't feel like doing." Remember, you have nothing to do, and all day to do it.

3. PHYSICAL EXERTION

Organized sports in general are bad enough, but I will focus primarily on Central sports in particular. Our school strives to take away any home/personal life you may have, and convert it into you being their puppet and/or gopher. They will make you do things that they really should do themselves, but since you are under their power, they take the opportunity to make you their bitch and make you do as many of their chores as possible. They are also one to pump you for money at every turn. Beware. Cheapness is also a virtue.

4. FOOD

In conclusion, food is one of the, if not the most important thing to consider when becoming a lazy man like Bob, Ryan and I, or anyone that has any connection to FlatLine Comics for that matter. The perfect food is essential for your average lazy man. If you're anything like us, you will enjoy Godly snacks such as Totino's Pizza Rolls, Sunkist, Chicken in a Biskit crackers, Slim Jims, or even Doritos. If Jesus were with us today, his daily luncheon would consist of these superb snacks.