My part of the speech has to do with the things I have tried for dating, while on a date, stalking, or admiring.

One of my personal favorite things to do to let the girl know I like her is by circling her neighborhood in my car, 30 to 40 times a night going about 15 mph. While passing in front of her house, or any of her relatives houses I just lay on the horn, and glare at them, because I know they are looking at me through their blinds, always looking, always judging.

I have yet to get a girl this way, but if it works for you then by all means use it. Now sometimes the father, noticing that the daughter obviously is attracted to you he might ask you to stop doing it. Remind him that if he ever comes near your car again you'll burn his damn house down.

Another thing I like to do is make my own trance music by chanting my soon to be lovers name on all of the tracks. Then I burn the CD and place it in her locker, on her door step, and in her backpack…somewhere she'll see it. I like to do this everyday for at least two years, just to let the bait out, and prepare to reel her in! Hook line and sinker my friends.

If this isn't your style another thing girls like is when you stare at them when your in the same room, and when they notice, don't stop staring, I call that my laser of love, girls cant resist it. Also if you want to add a touch of class I suggest wetting your lips and humming a single note at her.

The way I met my first wife, by wife I mean prison sentence, I had stole her pets and replaced them with me. Apparently jumping at a woman in the dark when she enters her house isn't a good first impression, but I'm damned if I didn't try.

If you're looking to find a quick fix up maybe you should try changing the song about sitting in a tree to your names and quietly whispering it to her, but when she asked what you said, just say "nothing" and continue whispering. Softly, Slowly. Under your breath.

I'm going to run your through a normal date for the Ryan

I usually show up at the lucky ladies house 3 to 4 hours early because I hadn't slept the night before in anticipation

So I'm usually asked to wait outside until they get ready. This usually lasts until the next day then when she reaches out to grab the newspaper -Thinking I've left- huh uh

I then grab her arm and offer to come into her house. She usually agrees. I'm usually offered electronics and or money so I don't hurt them, apparently they've seen, they've heard, they know.

After that I usually "crash" at their house for a few days, just to get comfortable. The girls really seem to love it. Now here's a warning for you guys, if she ever offers to call the cops, tell her that everything is fine, and that you'll kill her cat if she picks up the damn phone.

After awhile I usually head home, check my messages and prepare for another night of mischief.