MTV: The Decay of Western Society
By:Bob-0
I think the title really describes my feeling about MTV well enough, but maybe I need to get the point across further. First and foremost, if you are an avid viewer of MTV, I don't mean to offend you. Nonetheless, I feel like I need to make my own little statement, just because I call the people that made MTV total cock smackers, doesn't mean I think you, the reader, are one. Back to the editorial, MTV is the worst, most mind-numbing thing ever. Next to the 20 minutes of commercials on a 30 minute show, MTV attempts to, and pretty much succeeds at destroying individuality.

I was browsing the web one day and behold I see a banner, yet this was no normal, annoying banner, it was easily the element that pushed me over the edge as far as my hate for MTV is concerned. You may be asking yourself, "Bob, what is it that could be so horrible to make you hate my precious channel?" I'll tell you: The banner had a picture of headphones on it and it said "They're on MTV, they must be cool." Good lord, the fact that someone would rely on a banner/channel to tell them what's cool and what they should buy is frightening, but real. Sure I used to buy what I saw on TV, but that was back whenever my parents bought me G.I. Joes, I'd just point to the TV and we'd go to the nearest store and buy it. But individuality/thinking isn't exactly essential to the child thought process. Now on to the "music" end of things.

Sure destroying people's sense of freedom is bad, but it is called "music television," why don't I complain about that? Well I will, MTV single handedly destroyed what our view of music is, between boy bands and "hardcore" bands, hearing other people listen to music is like a live landmine. Everything is synthesized these days, and if there's a song that isn't synthesized, then they'll "remix" it, then it will FINALLY be cool. Speaking of remixes, does anyone actually like them, I think they make the songs worse by an exponential amount. Anyway, but it's not like the music, lyrics, or sound matter, MTV's all about looks. If you're an ugly person with loads of talent you can't get anywhere because your video will fail miserably. And if you're physically gorgeous, but sound like a dying goat on valium, it doesn't matter, you'll still be a no talent hack, but look damn good doing it. Looks like my one-man band is doomed.

I'd make fun of rap, but I'd have a small army of white kids at my door armed to the damn teeth. That's besides the point, MTV is music television huh? Then why the hell are there so many non-music related shows on there? Celebrity Deathmatch, Real World, Etc. (I'd name more but I don't watch that high-frequency piece of visual trash anymore), these shows never, ever stop angering me, but these shows are cool, though they really, really suck. Now if there's a band that plays actual instruments and sound good, MTV will take their decent CD, play the hell out of it, and then have them make a new, popular one. This happened to Sum 41, Creed, Nickleback, Fuel, No doubt(especially), need I go on? Hence making every band that I like or could like total pieces of pop fecis. I heard "Mourning" by Tantric this morning on the radio, and I'm going to tell you they ruined that song more than Yoko ruined the Beatles. They threw in synthesized strings like on With Arms Wide Open, and it sounds so out of place and loud, you can't even hear the Actual song.

Now, who am I to complain, I could just not watch it. Well in a conformist society pop culture is impossible to avoid, be it from my sister listening to the radio, or at a small gathering of people at someone's house with the TV on, or Ryan making me watch The Osbournes. I can't avoid it! That's why I hate it so much, I wish MTV was a person so I could take it into a dark alley, pummel it until its ears bleed, then take its wallet.

Possibly, the thing that angers me the most is this, everyone denys watching it. I'll make fun of it, and then they say, "I don't even watch it anymore." But then you go to their house, turn on the TV, and good ol' channel 47(I know the channel because I deleted it off my TV ;) ) is tuned right in. And I remain silent at the time because I know they can't avoid it either, they must give in to conformity at some time or another.

So my good people I beg and plead with you, don't do what they want you to do, it just makes them richer and richer, while you're sitting flat broke with an 80$ Billabong sweatshirt that you bought just because "J-lo" or some other no talent ass was wearing one. Go explore the wonders of actual music and television, I PROMISE you they won't dissapoint.