I am now going to compare a night out with the guys from N'sync to a half eaten corpse. In this comparison I will run each through 3 tests and you know how the rest goes.

For the first test I analyze the stench of the two contestants. I fill first examine the smell of the boy band. They reak of prison cells and cheap cologne. I wont necessarily take off for the prison thing, because how would I know what that smells like? that's obviously for another story. I mean SURE the first night it feels good to have someone's arms around you, you can close your eyes and pretend it's your mother and your at home, then you feel a mans hand creeping down your back and you dont necessarily hate it, per se. Then you start to talk more and you reveal a few too many things, and next think you know your stowing away crack so your man friend doesnt get sent to solitaire because you know in the time he is gone he'll find someon else, another white man that has even softer hair, SCREW YOU LANCE!~ Im his bitch. And just like that it's over. I'll give them a 7 in the smell catagory.

NOw the half eaten corpse gives off a poinent but somewhat irresistable smell. It's not nearly as bad as the half wrot corpse. Also if you dont look at it, it sort of smells like spaghetti (have fun at dinner tonight), well that would be if spaghetti filled the cremisces left by the small mammals that dug wholes in the body, and also there were meatballs where the eyes used to be. I'll give it a 5 just because it ruined the spaghetti meal for me for the rest of my life.

Next up we'll compare textures, N'sync went first last time so I'll review the half eaten corpse first.

Alright at first I was like, "Hey that's a half eaten corpse, I dont want to touch that." Then I had a few couple drinks and then I was all like "hey whatcha doin corpse?"

The corpse was all like "nothin."

So then I was like "What do ya feel like doin?" The Corpse nodded. And we made love for what seemed like an eternity. 10 points!

Now when it came to the boys from N'sync, sure they skin gets moisterized more than shamoo after being stolen from his ocean home, but perhaps TOO moisturized, to the point they were greasy. I swear I saw Lance slide into a hole that was no large than 8 inches, he had to like dislocate his hips to do it or something. ANyway, i'll make this one short, they just creeped me out a little too much and I'll give them a 4.

Next comparison on the list I have written down hair styles.

I did the corpse first last time, and N'sync is trailing I believe so they shall go first. I'll start off by saying that Justin's hair is like cool whip on the top of the sundae, it's insane, his golden locks are too sweet to taste, I kid you not. But the 35 year old guy's hair is falling out and most of it is just red hair plugs now, which I'm not going to say I hate, but at the same time Im not exactly crazy for.

When the boys busted it down Darren's Dance moves style their hair stayed perfect and this impressed me....ALOT, they recieve an 8.

Next up the half eaten corpse, I cant tell if it's male or female anymore but there is just something about the almost white hair atop my lovers head. Sure when I run my fingers through it it falls out, but I just rap a pink ribbon around in a store it in my droor of locks of peoples hare that I steal while people are sleeping. Since the hair falls out all so oftenly, even sometimes without any warning or physical action. I'll give it a 3.

It seemed that a night with N'sync is preferable to a night with a half eaten corpse. Who woulda thought? But my methods are completely flawless, so if you get the option, choose N'Sync.