My speech ties into a few others, it has to do with keeping your roommate, or roommates out of your stuff. I know that the first thing that comes into my mind when I hear dorm is "thieves." Same goes for college kids.

I am going to briefly go over a psychological approach to keeping your roommate out of your stuff. During so I will pass a helpful pamphlet around to give you kids a good visual of what you can do.

One thing you could do is burn yourself right in front of them, pretend to enjoy it, and tell them that you don't understand why something that hurts so much feels so good.

Another thing you could try is sharpening your vast array of steak knives behind their head while they try to sleep while humming lullabies to them. They might not like you but they damn well better respect you.

I also like to use extortion to get my way. For example if they don't comply with several of your demands begin to remove safety parts from their vehicles, such as bicycle reflectors and such.

Since I enjoy technology I'm going to go more in depth with some more advanced steps that are now available to help safeguard your possessions while you look at the handouts I made.

Nowadays everyone in college has either a laptop or a computer in their dorm room. Also in your dorm room there is a couple beds a couple desks and one drug abusing thief.

In order to keep them from your laptop you could easily purchase a Biometric authenticator. More commonly known as a fingerprint scanner.

Where Biometrics - is the identification of individuals using biological traits, such as those based on retinal or iris scanning, fingerprints, or face recognition.

How this works is wherever you are asked to place your password into somewhere you simply place your finger on to the biometric authenticator wait approximately a second for it to make a positive id and you are free to enter if you are a match.

The Biometric Authenticator I found simply connects to any computer via USB (Universal Serial Bus), with itself being a 2 port USB hub. So no worry of running out of USB ports. Not only is this a relatively safe way to guard your things it is only 119.99 on www.thinkgeek.com

Next an even more simple way to safeguard your computer, it is called the Securikey Authentication System. If you have ever read anything in your life or used a car you will be able to operate this system.

This computer simply uses the USB port which is commonly found on the front of most new PC's and a key chain. If you're a girl you might want to fill that key chain up with any stupid key chain accessory with the words "princess," "queen," or "whatever" to keep it inconspicuous.

Alls that happens is similar to the Biometric Authenticator. To access the computer you need only place the SecuriKey Token into the USB port and like in a car once the key is in the ignition the car is ready to go, same goes for the computer. This goes for around 129.99 on www.thinkgeek.com.

Our next gizmo that can be used for safety is the fun and affordable Snap Digital Mini Camera. It measures in at a mere 2 inches by 2 inches allowing easy concealment.

To help safeguard your computer you need only mediocre computer skills and a little imagination. To keep watch over your computer while your gone simply connect this tiny computer to your USB port and hide it somewhere your roommate wont see it, being sure to have it pointed at whatever you don't want your roommate stealing for hash money.

Then if you plan things out right you need only set up a live feed from your computer, making sure to take note of you internal and external IP numbers as well as your DNS.

Once you have this set up install "pcanywhere" which can be found for free at download.com, connect to a computer in the library at school or wherever use the software you set up and connect to a live feed of the camera.

You may also choose to save what the camera watches to disk to use as evidence in a court of law. Making sure to tell your roommate that they may be videotaped while you leave the room, they probably won't take you seriously and agree.

To get this project up and running it should cost you an estimated 50 dollars on www.thinkgeek.com with shipping and handling, the cheapest of the three methods we have went over but also the most hassle and perhaps the least safe.

If it isn't safety your concerned with you can use this to videotape your coed roommates in the shower and sell it to middle aged men on commercial at 4 in the morning.

The last piece of technology I'm going to go over is the most expensive, but also the most secure (you get what you pay for).

This is also a Biometric system but instead of using your fingerprints it actually scans your iris, I'll save you the details and say that is works anytime you would use the first biometric authenticator but instead of putting your finger onto a sensitive pad you simply look into a tiny camera.

The human iris is absolutely unique, even between twins or an individual's right and left eyes. So if you get this your pretty safe even from your twin, or your damned right eye. This will cost you a little over 200 dollars if you factor in shipping and handling.

In closing the key to keeping your roommate out of your stuff is the use of overly complicated technical devices or scare tactics; you're free to pick one or the other, or mix the two.

Thank you.