Just as I ducked behind the crate of tainted beef I could the voice of Ronald McDonald, it was almost comforting.  That is until I hear him yell "I want McBurgler dead!" That was disheartening, indeed.  I peered around the crate and noticed that Birdie was to Ronny’s left, and an incapacitated Grimace being wheeled around on a dolly for the time being was to his right.  He was also surrounded by McDonald’s workers, all of them in those stupid green polo shirts and visors, spilling hot coffee all over their genitals and such, wow I hate them.  Anyway, I tried sneaking away from behind the crate, because I have Autism and have a lot of trouble focusing, I heard someone shout "There he is!"

It’s definitely funny thinking back on this situation, but it was scary at the time!  So Birdie, Ronald, and the henchman opened fire.  Ronald had his dual 9mm pistols and was firing like a madman whilst yelling “I’ll bus’ you up wit my Gat’ yo!” But they had such poor aim, it was ridiculous, nothing really came close.  So I started running down the long corridor, no guards came out, which surprised me, but I had no time to think about it.  So after a long eventless, run I found my destination, and I ran through the huge, golden arches.  The light was blinding, but I adjusted to it quickly.  Just as I stepped outside, I heard shots from a sniper on the roof.  None of his fire hit me; his all burger diet must have ruined his eye sight.

So I kept on moving down a dirt road into a nearby town, and a nearby McDonalds that I entered.  So as I walked in and went immediately to the napkin dispenser, I had a plan.  I stood there looking at the ceiling, and then I went to the front desk.  I told the cashier that I was looking up for napkins, but couldn’t find any.  So, obviously, it took the whole staff to see why there were no napkins coming from the ceiling, that’s when I made my move.  I hopped the counter and stole a tray of chicken nuggets; it is my job after all.  Just as I was hopping over the counter, I saw Birdie come into the restaurant, she yelled "This is a message from Don Ronald." And she put 3 shots into my chest, I collapsed on the floor.

So as I lay in a pile of grease, blood to you people, and I was expecting someone to come and check out my "corpse." So a trusting soccer mom came and stooped down to check out my wounds, and just as she leaned next to me, I stole her tray, jumped to my feet, and limped out the door.  A man’s got to eat, right?  Regardless, these bullets can’t stop me, it’s nice to know, because I have triumphed, and I shall strike again.  Though, McDonalds will be ready for me the next time.