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Adventures in Showerland


Shawntel is a member of the community in the shower. His friend Emilio is a can of shaving cream, he has two other friends as well; Cornelius the conditioner, and Safe guard the bar of soap.

They all belong to a secret cult filled with craft, drugs, and sexual experimentation.

One day Shawntel, coming down off a frightening coke buzz was surprised by me. Upon smothering my head with shampoo, it lost its lather all too quickly. At that moment the shampoo and me looked at each other, Shawntel started crying and we both knew that he needed help.

After a week or two in the Betty ford clinic Shawntel checked himself out to go back to his old habits. Taking hits of crank off the back of filthy geisha whores and attending his cult meetings. So not knowing what else to do, I kicked him out of the shower.

Then I saw him sitting on the street one day. He was covered with newspaper and beef jerky- he had tried to make clothing for himself to keep warm.

I saw in his hand he had a spoon that had been sharpened to make a shank. Like the kind you might find in prison. So I said to him "Shawntel, let me help you."

Then he looked up at me nozzle open, and said "You take another step and I'll shove this spoon in your goddamned eye." After saying this Shawntel went into spasms and I took him to the hospital. Once there I held his hand until he came to.

The morning after he woke up, and was scared, he had no idea how he had got there, and couldn't remember much of the last two weeks. I then explained to him what had happened and that he could live in the shower again until he could get back on his feet and find a job. I also told him that I would help keep him from Emilio, Cornelius, and Safeguard the bar of soap so that he wouldn't keep the cycle spinning.

He was released that day. So after he was released I offered him a ride to the house, he obliged. On the home we lit up a fatty bo batty blunt and cruised in my 1987 Chrysler Le Baron.