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The next day, feeling a little better having
two of my little guys back at home and doing well we all went to
the zoo for a day of fun.
So we all loaded into my primo 1987 Chrysler
Le Baron and headed towards the zoo, with aspirations high, and
the Wham! cranked even higher. Nothing could go wrong.
When we got there we decided to visit the bear
cage. It was totally lame so we smothered the bars in savory Maple
Syrup and waited for the bears to lick the bars. When they did start
licking the bars we shot rubber bands at their eyes.
Then in the confusion Shawntel thought Cornelius
stole his wallet. So I went over to see what was the matter, Shawntel
explained what happened and then we found his wallet was in his
back pocket the whole time. Then Shawntel shanked Cornelius right
in the stomach, and screamed "Who's better now, WHO'S better
NOW!?"
Then Shawntel shanked some weird out of place
guy with a top hat on in the kidneys and ran towards the monkey
cages. In the heat of the moment I forgot to check on Cornelius
and weird out of place guy with the top hat on. Cornelius was bleeding
pretty badly, I could tell, from the way he was bleeding, badly.
I didn't much care for the weird out of place guy, because if anything
he is just making this story worse.
I called 9-1-1 and told them I had some conditioner
here at the zoo and it was bleeding quite badly and to send help.
I then left Cornelius with the trained professionals and went after
Shawntel.
I searched everywhere for him, but he was hiding
somewhere, scared and lost. I finally found him hiding beneath a
great oak tree. When I reached him I asked what that was all about.
He explained a feeling of being lost, he was
afraid; he thought that I liked Cornelius better than him. On top
of that I could tell he'd been doing the crank again, I just took
him into my arms and held him. He sobbed loudly into my bosom and
then I remembered Cornelius lying on the pavement, so I hurried
back to see how he was doing. Turns out nothing serious was wrong
and that he we in fact, going to be ok. I was relieved to say the
least.
I helped Cornelius to his feet and told him
how happy I was to see he was all right. We started walking back
to the car figuring we'd been at the zoo long enough by then.
Then in a split second two things happened,
I remembered Shawntel and Shawntel appeared behind us.
Cornelius and me just looked at him, and Shawntel
offered a hand in friendship to Cornelius. Cornelius, hesitant at
first took awhile to offer his hand.
After Cornelius' hand was fully extended in
peace Shawntel took his hand, gave it a good shake, then drew Cornelius
close to himself, whispered something in his ear and laid a blow
of his shank into Cornelius' stomach again. Shawntel then twisted
his shank and gave a smirk to Cornelius' blank and shocked face.
Cornelius fell to the ground. He was dead.
Emilio who had been quiet the whole time stepped
out from behind me. Look at Shawntel and said "Shove this in
your goddamned eye," and fired two shots at him, one nicking
his nozzle, the other hitting him square in the shoulder laying
him onto the ground.
I took a step back, felt dizzy, and fell to
the ground.
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