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While I’m here in
suspended animation, I have experienced a severe change in seasons,
one day it was 60 degrees, the next it was 90, the next it was 40,
and finally 70 degrees yesterday. Today it’s frigid, a little under
30 degrees, I can’t stand the winter much. I’ve really been
thinking about what would happen if the seasons never changed, if we
were stuck in a perpetual, horrid winter or a lovely summer. I
think we would get sick of one and just pray for a change, I know I
can’t stand repetition. I just saw a couple of flurries fall
outside, so disappointing after that 70 degree weather…
Alright so screw
philosophy, that’s for people no jobs to do. I find that I’ve been
more negative than anything this past year, seems like life is too
short to angry all the time, or at least that’s what stupid
philosophers say.
All the negativity has
been building, and it makes me wonder, Should I just give up? Not
commit suicide, that’s one of the most selfish things you could do,
but just stop trying to appease others. I think life is getting
just too mundane to care about what others ask of me. Just trudging
through life would make everything more enjoyable I think, though it
is sad that becoming a total waste of human flesh would be a lot
more enjoyable than trying.
But why should I care?
My friends aren’t even worth the time and effort, let alone anyone
else. Take Miriam for example, I asked her how she felt about me,
and she told me that we were good friends and always will be. What
a stupid girl cliché thing to say, I didn’t want her to lie and say
she liked me, but I want to hear the truth. She thinks she’s a
unique person just because she likes art and is a writer. Well I’ll
tell you now that she’s about as unique as a clone.
Then Lisa comes up to me, out of the blue, asking me whether I knew
what his actual name was. I couldn’t remember exactly, so just to
be funny, I said it was Aborigine. I knew I was wrong, but he went
ballistic on me, he eventually yelled his name in the midst of his
incoherent babble, I still wasn’t paying much attention, but I think
it was Adam or something.
Chapter 3 |
